Daily Bike Forecast — by Bike Snob NYC

September 4th, 2018: Voices of Diversity

Informally summer is over, but don't tell the weather that:

Tuesday Weather

Tuesday Mostly sunny, with a high near 92. Heat index values as high as 98. Northwest wind 3 to 5 mph.

Tuesday Night A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms between 9pm and 1am. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 76. Southwest wind around 5 mph becoming calm in the evening. Chance of precipitation is 20%.

Sunrise: 6:26am

Sunset: 7:25pm

Labor Day weekend shouldn't end until the temperature goes below 75 degrees.

Take note that tomorrow night there will be partial closures on the Queensboro Bridge bike path:

Tomorrow's also the first day of school, so expect extra congestion:

You can be sure parents have been practicing their double-parking all summer long.

Of course the big news was the DOT's stealth announcement this past Friday that they'll be eliminating half the Dyckman Street protected bike lane...or making "#VisionZero safety improvements," as they had the nerve to call it:

At 2:12pm on Friday I was already starting my second margarita so the tweet worked exactly as intended.  Back in May, Manhattan Community Board 12 approved a resolution to remove the south lane and change the north lane from one to two ways, so when I first read the tweet I figured that's what they were doing:

The board voted on Tuesday to approve a resolution suggesting the DOT remove a protected bike lane on the south side of Dyckman Street and change one on the north side into a two-way lane. The board's chair, Shah Ally, said that the board felt the bike lanes were not implemented responsibly.

Nope!  That's a one-way protected lane on the north side and a double-parking lane with decorative stencils on the south side:

Dyckman

Of course all this comes shortly after the Inwood rezoning approval which makes you wonder who traded what and with whom.

Then the very same day brought news that City Councilmember Mark Gjonaj had been spotted chanting SHAME! outside of an Alessandra Biaggi campaign event:

Shame

Apparently the possibility of a bike lane and other safety improvements on Morris Park Avenue has driven him to madness:

Reginald Johnson, Chief of Staff for Councilman Gjonaj, told Gothamist the Councilman was yelling shame because of Biaggi's support of the DOT's Corridor Safety Improvement Plan on Morris Park Ave. The avenue has been named a Vision Zero Priority Corridor, with 7.6 pedestrians killed or severely injured every mile, from 2010-2014. There were a total of 367 injuries, 23 severe injuries, and one fatality in that time period.

The DOT proposal is to create dedicated bike lanes from Melville Street to Newport Avenue, and convert one of the two lanes of traffic on the corridor into a dedicated left turn lane. The plan would also remove one lane from the road and create a median. There are currently two lanes of traffic on each side.

Gjonaj was joined by a small group of older males, some of whom carried signs, and all of whom appeared to be flagrantly ignoring the instructions of their cardiologists to not get excited:

Italians for Klein

I just hope nobody ate at Patsy's after the outburst, because by the look of things they were all a slice of prosciutto away from Coronary City.

Incidentally, not days before, Morris Park had been written up in the Times Real Estate section, which lauded it as a bastion of congeniality:

Uh-huh.

The story did mention the bike lane though:

Mom-and-pop stores prevail because a shortage of parking spots has discouraged larger businesses from opening on the commercial stretches of Morris Park Avenue and Williamsbridge Road, Mr. D’Angelo added. Congestion is one reason the community association is fighting a city plan to narrow vehicle lanes and introduce bicycle lanes on Morris Park Avenue.

Yes, encouraging as many cars as possible is a great way to fight congestion.

Speaking of grumpy old men, never let it be said that Steve Cuozzo, who still shows up for work at the Post even though they haven't paid him for years, doesn't follow the winds of change.  Sure, he still hates bikes, but now he hates them because "young white bros" ride them:

The predominance of male riders on streets is surely even greater than those citywide figures suggest. That’s because many women who ride bikes do so not in bike lanes, but in parks and in dedicated, car-free spaces such as the Hudson River Greenway — a fact clear to anyone with eyes.

The way alpha-bros zoom through red lights is at odds with the cycle lobby’s claims to upholding humane values. Bikers long ago replaced muggers as the No. 1 fear of those on foot.

There's only one explanation for writing something this illogical in a newspaper, and it's that he plans to present it to his doctor as evidence that he needs a prescription for some really good drugs.

Then there's this:

Assurances that biking reduces noise, congestion and pollution mean zilch when a helmeted macho man bears down on you at 30 mph. On Second Avenue at 74th Street the other day, I scrambled like Cam Newton when a guy zipped by within a foot of me, ran the red light, nearly hit a woman in the crosswalk and yelled “Move it over!” to remind us who was boss.

That's the first time I've heard a bike-hater upset that a cyclist was wearing a helmet.  Also, this entire incident is clearly a total fabrication, as nobody born after 1950 would ever yell "Move it over!" 

Most amusing of all though is Cuozzo's attempt to court the millennials by showing he's down with diversity:

Cycling isn’t just a guy thing — it’s a white guy thing. Despite lack of data, anyone can see that in a city that’s 55 percent nonwhite, black, Latin and Asian faces on wheels are relatively scarce. (The exception is hard-working food delivery people, for whom access to bike lanes makes their backbreaking jobs somewhat less risky while ensuring that more affluent citizens won’t have to wait too long to get their General Tso’s chicken.)

The "hard-working food delivery people" is especially cute, since in the past he's always gone out of his way to dehumanize them.

And then he brings up the subway and people with disabilities for some reason:

Meanwhile, subway riders with every imaginable disability brave jammed platforms, stairs and trains. Legless men hop from car to car.

How are the legless men hopping, Steve?

Alas, we may never know.

Just watch out for ticketing this week, because the NYPD is cracking down on all that reckless white bro behavior, such as reming your hands from the bars:

And going to work:

In a world gone mad, it's a good thing we've got the voices of diversity to keep things in perspective:

Diversity