Daily Bike Forecast — by Bike Snob NYC

October 3rd, 2017: No Bikes Allowed

It's a perfect day to ride:

tues oct 2

Tuesday Sunny, with a high near 71. East wind 6 to 9 mph.

Tuesday Night Mostly clear, with a low around 56. Southeast wind around 6 mph becoming light and variable after midnight.

Sunrise: 6:55am

Sunset: 6:34pm

And this week's only going to get warmer:

week ahead

This is where I'm supposed to blame climate change and say that we're all doomed, but don't worry, because the city's on top of it:

Isn't it possible to think about both?

They seem to be implying we don't need to reduce the number of cars anymore now that we've got this pollution thing licked.

"Hey, we're making the buildings cleaner so drive all you want!"

As for what's happening on the streets, there's a closure along the Mosholu-Pelham Greenway in the Bronx:

And the NYPD was ticketing on Chrystie Street in Manhattan yesterday:

As for local news, CBS New York has a hard-hitting exposé on the epidemic of bicycle couriers riding through the Lincoln Tunnel:

no bikes

So how big is this epidemic?  Well, it recently happened [dripping blood letters] three times in one day:

three times

To put that in perspective, approximately 52,000 motor vehicles pass through the Lincoln Tunnel every day, in a metropolitan area with a population of about 20 million people.  Yet you can be sure that whenever bicycles start encroaching on space reserved for cars, drivers are astonished:

astonished

"Pretty crazy.  I can't imagine such a thing actually happening."

Though now that he is imagining it he seems pretty psyched about it.

Hey, he can't imagine the challenges of making deliveries by bike in midtown, I can't imagine willingly driving into the Lincoln Tunnel on a weekday, go figure.

Other drivers are more concerned, albeit in a half-assed way:

hit

"I wouldn't hit them but I would worry about other people hitting them."

Sort of an odd response.  You have to wonder what the question was:

"Tony Aiello, CBS News.  If you saw a cyclist in the Lincoln Tunnel, wouldn't you kinda wanna hit them?"

So what's to blame for this non-epidemic?  Dysfunctional streets?  Delivery people under tremendous pressure in a city completely awash with motor vehicle traffic?  Nope!  It's all because of smartphones:

smartphones

"All of the riders told police they were following GPS on their smartphone, but apparently not using an app that specifies routes for people on bikes."

So which app was it?!?  Now that's a story!  Alas, he doesn't say.  He just said it wasn't Google Maps, which sends cyclists safely across the Hudson via ferry:

google maps

Though one courier has an alternate theory:

courier

"If they weren't using the bike part of the app and they were using the car part it would have told them to go through."

However, the reporter can feel Google's attorneys breathing down his neck at this point, so he returns to his comfort zone by joining the drivers in mocking the hapless cyclists:

gps

"You have to have your brain also..."

You can actually hear him laughing in the background.

So what's the conclusion here?

port

"You can trust the Port Authority is concerned."

This is the first time anyone has ever used the phrase "You can trust the Port Authority" unironically.  Furthermore:

conclusion

"While the agency believes the current signage is sufficient, it promises aggressive enforcement to bust bike riders who ignore them."

Yes, by all means, we must protect the poor motorists by punishing those reckless cyclists.  It's also crucial that we extend the "petextrian" concept to cyclists so that everyone remembers that the streets belong to drivers and only drivers.

Of course, if they really wanted to do a story about how dangerous it is when people ignore signs and go where they don't belong, they'd skip the errant-cyclist-in-tunnel thing altogether and do a report on the actual epidemic of drivers parking in bike lanes.

But I'm not holding my breath.