#BikeNYC’s Most Wanted


THE SALMON
Last seen: Coming right at you
Known to: Swim upstream, smell fishy
THE FIXER-UPPER
Last seen: Abandoned at a bike rack
Known to: Shed parts
THE SHADOW
Last seen: Not until two feet away
Known to: Always be out of batteries
THE HATER
Last seen: Blocking the crosswalk
Known to: Be a jerk
THE LEAP FROG
Last seen: Passing when you’re stopped
Known to: Not know who’s faster
THE LOST JOGGER
Last seen: Wearing headphones in the lane
Known to: Not understand “On your left”
THE T.A. MEMBER
Last seen: Flagging down strangers
Known to: Make you sign a petition
THE EVIL LORAX
Last seen: Locked to a tree
Known to: Kill tulips for kicks
THE SAG
Last seen: [Cartoonist averted eyes]
Known to: Need a belt